It's been awhile, eh? So much for that
resolution lol! Oh well, my inactivity isn't without cause! I doubt I have m/any active watchers anyway so you guys don't mind right?
So I'll get you guys up to date, I can't remember the last things I mentioned so I'll just start from the beginning~.
I haven't uploaded anything because I haven't really... Finished... Anything heeeeh. But! I have
been drawing a lot! Nothing finished, not much even fully sketched out but considering the dry spell of ideas and art it's a welcome change haha. Maybe I'll start finishing art soon too! Problem with that is...
SCHOOL STARTED! YAY! February came and with it a whole new education experience unfolded full of hard times and wonderful company but most of all, full of knowledge and fun! (I sound like an advertisement haha) So I started at a small uni for animation, game design and music, o-o it's amazing *sparkly eyes*. Last time I tried uni it fell apart fairly quickly, I handed stuff in late, unfinished and low quality, felt horrible, hated my fellow students, hated the teachers for the most part, was unmotivated and got marks that showed that there was definite room for improvement. I tried four subjects which is full time study and I ended up dropping to three subjects because I couldn't hack it. This time? Four subjects again haha. The difference? I have handed in everything except one thing on time and that one thing was so barely late that I didn't get any late penalties for it haha (I think?) I have gotten in the 70's or higher for all assignments and all of the stuff has been pretty high quality so far! WOOOO! Plus I love my classes, my fellow students and my teachers~ <3 So it's got me feeling much more worthy and capable. Except, like I said, because of school I have very little time to do art for myself. I only really have time to make really rough sketches and idea thumbnails because as well as school I've been dealing with....
Depreeeeeeeeeession. Yeah, and I've been recently (like a couple days ago) been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which explains A LOT. Apparently my trouble with sleep, hyper sensitivity to noise and sensations, constant pain and on and off digestive issues can aaaaall be explained by Fib. So I've been given a pill that apparently used to be used for depression but at low doses helps with Fib so... COOL! Haha, it'll be a few weeks before I know if it works but good thing is that I've had a pretty good day today haha, not too much pain or depression so YAY. Depression, however, has been a really hard thing to push through. The past couple weeks have been rough with Fib, depression, anxiety, and flaring body image problems. I've been fatigued, unmotivated, in pain and headachey. Apparently Fib doesn't explain everything so hopefully the Fib'll die down and the doc'll be able to tell me what the rest of this shiz is. It's funny though, I've been finding myself really wishing I was schizophrenic, sometimes I wonder if I am a little, but then I remember I have anxiety, paranoia and hypochondria so... I don't think I've ever experienced a real hallucination, just some delusions and paranoia induced sensations. If any of you guys are schizophrenic I'd love to hear your stories! Morbid curiosity, and you don't have to if it's too hard to talk about, but I'm extremely curious and would love to learn more about it ^v^. My depression and anxiety may die down over the next few months though because it's been so high due to the fact that...
I moved out at the end of January! Except I don't stay there all the time, it's student accommodation and I spend the weekends back at my mum's house. With my Asperger's the constant going back and forth fills me with anxiety and the change, the HUGE change, of going from being a fairly dependent recluse living in a house to being a forced independent semi-social person living in a small apartment surrounded by people in other rooms is really hard to get used to. More than that is that I really reeeeally wanted to move out and now that I have it's much harder than I thought it would be and... I mean that makes me feel like a failure. Especially since staying at my mum's so far has spanned much more than the weekends, I've probably spent at most three days at a time in the apartment with whole weeks spent at my mum's in between. But I'm spending this whole next week 'til good Friday here in the apartment so hopefully it'll work, super nervous about doing laundry here though haha. After Easter Mum's also getting me to stay here for a few unbroken weeks, which should help. My hygiene isn't great right now though cause showering here is... different haha. But because of all this moving...
I'm having financial problems! YAY! Haha, yeah so it's not a huge concern yet but I really need to figure out how to earn some money cause you know, I don't want it to get super serious. Unfortunately I may be using even more money buying a laptop because... I need a new one for reasons that would take too long to explain haha, they actually sound a bit spoiled o-o. In short my Fib makes carting my laptop back and forth really really painful and it's stopping me from using the student accomodation as much as I should, which could potentially cost us a lot more than a little laptop so my mum suggested I get a new laptop so I can have one here and one there. Also, my current laptop can't run Maya very well, has too small a screen for Maya, and is somehow (after only three or four years o-o) starting to glitch out. Also *pokes index fingers together and looks down shyly* it isn't VR ready >->. But anyway, because of my financial difficulties I've been thinking of ways to get money...
Since I'm studying full time and have a slew of mental and physical issues I can't really take a job so whatever I do to earn money needs to be flexible with when I have spare time to work on it. One of the ideas I came up with is an App Game that's simple but alluring enough that people will either donate to it, or spend for in app purchases or deal with ads. The problem with that is that I've never programmed and have no idea how to implement in app purchases or advertisement. I'm sure there's lots of programs, blogs, videos etc. that can help me with those issues but it does seem like a lot of work for something that may not even be enjoyable to make or play. So I'm going to reserve my games ideas I think, maybe work on them for fun but not something I expect to get anything out of except experience. Another idea I had was starting a comic on Patreon, I can have a milestone that increases my workload and until then work on it when I can, I get money each month and I get to work on a skill I genuinely really want to improve. Aside from comics I could do short animations at a low framerate and have a milestone for smoothing out animations and increasing upload rates and such and it allows me to improve another skill that I really want to improve. Both of those require an idea I really want to work on, I have lots and lots of ideas but a lot of them are far too elaborate for me right now and most of them are ideas I'm not interested in working on right now. The ones that are left are either unpolished, have glaring blank bits or I don't know where to start either with the story itself or the character design haha. I'll keep you guys updated and once I have an idea I'll make a Patreon for it. Do you guys have any suggestions for some things I could do for Patreon?
I think that's ev- OH! I started playing Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Links XD it's pretty awesome but I missed out on getting Yami Bakura, damn haha. And... HOLYCRIPESKINGDOMHEARTS1.5&2.5ANDUNIONCROSS *foams at mouth with excitement haha* I got 1.5 and 2.5 for PS4 the day it was released (missed the pre-order debating whether or not I needed it and didn't realise there was a limited edition available on the website *sigh*) and I somehow bypassed part of the first bit of Traverse Town but upon consulting a walkthrough to see how that could have happened I realised it was probably pretty easy to bypass. It's so shiny somehow haha. I played KH1 on PS3 and it seemed underwhelming for a HD remake so seeing it actually looks really good on the PS4 is comforting haha. But UNION CROSS CAME OUT RECENTLY HOLY CRIPES!! I haven't fully explored the update to Unchained Chi into Union Cross yet due to network connection issues *rolls eyes* but it sounds like it's getting pretty swish~. Still, they're completely unwelcoming to free users like me, I mean KH2 Illustrated Kairi is the best medal I've ever seen but you gotta fork out or get lucky to get her, I can't afford to buy 10 10 medal deals to get a fully realised KH2 Illus Kairi so my only chance is extreme luck, which rarely works out haha. I did get a Casual Roxas in my last medal pull though so that's good~. Obviously they also can't fix the problems with the first 300 quests being boring AF but eh. The most exciting thing to me though is the THEME!! Haha when you open the app it plays a never before heard opening theme, I can't recognise it from any of the bits of music in my head so I'm pretty sure I'm right in saying it's new. Of course this could just be the app separating itself out a bit, but the spin offs NEVER have unique themes, just remixed themes and that was true for Unchained Chi too, so why would Union Cross be any different? Kingdom Hearts 3! That's why! My theory is that Union Cross is giving us a teaser for the new theme that's going to play on Kingdom Hearts 3!! WHICH IS FUPPING EXCITING AF Y'ALL! Haha, of course I may be wrong, my memory can fail me on details and so maybe this theme is just some other piece from the games, I think that's highly unlikely though because of its nature. Or maybe it's a highly remixed version of a theme that makes it unrecognisable, but again highly doubt that, it doesn't share any similarities with Simple and Clean or Sanctuary soo... But yes, very exciting regardless haha. Also, this is a casual game but I recently started playing Cookie Cats Pop on Android and holy crap is it adorable and musical, I actually really love it and I tend not to like complexly arted casual games like that, I prefer games like Dot and Infinity but Cookie Cats Pop guys, check it out~.
Anyway, I think that's all now haha, I mean it's been a few months so obviously a lot has happened that I haven't mentioned but that's all for now~.
Thanks for reading! Hope to see you again and have a great day or night! XD
"Although my heart may be weak, it's not alone.
It's grown with each new experience.
And it's found a home with all the friends I've made.
I've become a part of their heart, just as they've become a part of mine.
And if they think of me now and then, if they don't forget me, then our hearts will be one.
I don't need a weapon. My friends are my power!"
- Sora, Kingdom Hearts (Square Enix)